Review: The King's Woman

Once upon a time I was naïve enough to think Goodbye My Princess was unusual among C-dramas for being a tragedy. I've learnt better now. Turns out about half of all historical C-dramas are tragedies or have extremely bittersweet endings -- and that might be understating it a bit.

The King's Woman (秦时丽人明月心 or Qín Shí Lí Rén Míng Yuè Xīn in Chinese) is a 2017 series very loosely based on the novel The Legend of Qin: Li Ji Story by Shi Ren Wen. It's even more loosely based on historical events.

I only recognised the two main actors, both from Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms:

Dilraba Dilmurat (Bai Feng Jiu in TMOPB) as Gongsun Li

Vin Zhang (Li Jing in TMOPB) as Ying Zheng

Years ago Gongsun Li rescued Ying Zheng. When they meet again years later, Ying Zheng is King of Qin (and incidentally future first emperor of China), and he's determined to make Gongsun Li marry him. She's in love with Jing Ke, but she reluctantly agrees to marry Ying Zheng to save Jing Ke's life. Cue much misery for Gongsun Li and Jing Ke plotting to assassinate Ying Zheng.

Gongsun Li

Ying Zheng. Ugh.

From the beginning I knew this series wouldn't end well. There were times when I felt like giving up and not bothering to finish it. I never expected to hate any Cdrama lead as much as I hate Cheng Yin from Goodbye My Princess... until Ying Zheng came along. As despicable as Cheng Yin was, at least he never murdered children.

And there's one other major difference between Ying Zheng and Cheng Yin: the latter's behaviour is portrayed as reprehensible and his relationship with Xiao Feng is never treated as a romance. The relationship between Gongsun Li and Ying Zheng on the other hand is portrayed as true love. Maybe some people can accept a romance that starts with the man forcing the woman to marry him and threatening to murder her unborn child, but I most certainly can't.

I finished watching the series mainly out of curiosity to see just how badly it would end. When it was over I almost regretted spending so much time on it. Yes, the series has its good moments, but as already stated the romance is fatally flawed from the start. And as for the ending, Gongsun Li's death is pointless tragedy. After everything she's already suffered I wanted her to escape and live happily ever after, far away from Ying Zheng. Instead she dies just to make Ying Zheng more miserable. I'm all for making Ying Zheng miserable, but not at the cost of Gongsun Li's life 😒

As you might have guessed I kept comparing it to Goodbye My Princess. When it comes to Cdramas about a deeply dysfunctional royal marriage, I prefer GMP to The King's Woman. This series can't decide if it's condemning Ying Zheng's actions or portraying him as the hero.

Is it available online?: Yes, on YouTube and Viki. Both have English subtitles of varying quality.

Rating: 5/10.

Review: Lost Love in Times

Dramas where someone gets amnesia and falls in love with the same person twice. This one puts its own spin on an oft-used trope: instead of amnesia, a character creates an alternate universe and falls in love with the same person twice.

Lost Love in Times (醉玲珑, AKA Zuì Líng Lóng, AKA "Drunk Ling Long" or "Exquisite Drunkenness") is a 2017 Chinese series based on the novel of the same name by Shi Si Ye. It has a sequel which I haven't watched yet, mainly because I can't find it on YouTube.

I only recognised two actors:

Shi Shi Liu (Xin Yue in Sound of the Desert) as Qing Chen

Yi Jun Liu (Xie Yu in Nirvana in Fire) as Yuan An

The series is set in a fantasy version of ancient China where sorcerers protect the royal family of Great Wei. Within the first five episodes our heroes, Qing Chen and Yuan Ling, fall in love and get married... well, try to. Yuan Ling's half-brother Yuan Zhan decides the middle of the wedding is the perfect time to stage a coup. Chaos ensues. Qing Chen uses a spell to create an alternate universe, only to discover that nothing is how she remembers it, no one knows who she is, and Yuan Zhan has undergone a complete change of character. The remaining fifty-one episodes are about Qing Chen adjusting to life in the AU and falling in love with Yuan Ling again, while dealing with endless schemes from the people living in the palace.

My main problem with the series is the costumes. Especially the truly bizarre headdresses. A few examples:

Qing Chen and a headdress that defies description.

Tao Yao and Xi Xie wearing what I've nicknamed "triceratops hats". (You have to admit, those things do look slightly triceratops-ish.)

Yuan Zhan with a flying saucer on his head.

Not pictured: the equally strange headgear Yuan Ling and Yuan Che don on occasion. Or the garish outfits certain characters wear. Seriously, costume department, what were you thinking? On the bright side the scenery is incredible. I can only assume someone used up so much of the budget on it that they had virtually nothing left for the costumes.

Once I managed to look past the ugly costumes and not be distracted by the breath-taking scenery I found myself enjoying the series much more than I expected from my first impression. Qing Chen and Yuan Ling are adorable together 😍 They were my OTP from the start, and not even in the AU when Yuan Zhan is 1) a decent person and 2) in love with Qing Chen made me change my mind. And Yuan Che is adorable. I was very confused when he disappeared without explanation towards the end. Apparently he's the main character of the sequel, but I wish there was some mention of him in the last episodes. Even if just to confirm he's still alive 😒

Yuan Ling

Yuan Che

Of course, then there are the villains. I absolutely loathe Yuan An. He's Xie Yu all over again. Apparently this actor specialises in playing scumbags who attempt to murder their adopted children.

Yuan An

Yuan Ming is no better. I wish he had died much earlier, before he got poor Yuan Ji killed 😢

Yuan Ming and Yuan Ji

Overall I loved this series, apart from a few minor quibbles, and I wish I could find the sequel somewhere. I want to know what happened to Yuan Che!

Is it available online?: Yes, on YouTube with English subtitles.

Rating: 8/10.

Review: Love and Destiny

Usually it's easy to tell if something is a spin-off or a remake of a previous work. This is one of the few times when a series is technically both.

Love and Destiny (宸汐缘; Chén Xī Yuán) is a 2019 Chinese series. It's not actually based on an existing work, but it's somehow related to Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms. In essence it's the same story but with different characters and a slightly different plot.

I only recognised one actress:
Ni Ni (Feng Zhi Wei in The Rise of Phoenixes) as Ling Xi

Ling Xi, our heroine, stumbles upon a man frozen in ice and accidentally wakes him. Turns out he's Jiu Chen, the god of war, and he's been there for ten thousand years. Ling Xi starts working for him, and ends up falling in love with him. Obstacles in the path of their romance include secrets about Ling Xi's parents and Jiu Chen's crazy stalker.

Ling Xi

Jiu Chen

This is a very odd series. It's too different from Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms to be a remake and it's too similar to be a spin-off. Basically it's an AU fanfic of TMOPB, starring the author's OCs. (That sentence probably makes no sense at all unless you've read and/or written plenty of fanfiction.) Like far too many AU fanfics starring OCs, it's nowhere near as good as the original.

My first problem with it is how the story drags. Whole subplots and at least three characters could be removed and the story would still make sense. My second problem is that Jiu Chen and Ling Xi simply aren't believable as a romantic couple. Their interactions are much more like a teacher or an older relative dealing with someone who means well but has more enthusiasm than common sense. It doesn't help that Jiu Chen is obviously years older than Ling Xi. Connected to this is my third problem: very few of the characters are interesting. When I don't care about the characters or the romance, there's not much to make me keep watching a series.

Somewhat reluctantly I stuck with it to the end. The best I can say about it is that the costumes, sets, and OST are all beautiful. Everything else is decidedly underwhelming. Certainly it'll never take Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms' place as one of my favourite C-dramas.

Is it available online?: Yes, on Viki. It's also on YouTube, but last time I checked not all of the episodes had English subtitles.

Rating: 4/10.

Review: Nirvana in Fire

Who'd have thought? There are now four series I rate 10/10!

Some series require very little thought; I know them so well or they have such simple plots that they're easy to follow without paying attention. This is definitely not one of them. You need to concentrate on every minute of this series to fully understand how amazing it is. I've seen it four times and still keep finding things I missed.

Nirvana in Fire (琅琊榜/Láng Yá Bǎng, literally "Lang Ya List") is a 2015 Chinese series based on the novel of the same name by Yan Hai. It was followed by a 2017 sequel. (I watched the first five episodes of the sequel. Let's just say it's a fine example of why sequels can be very bad things. It's missing everything that made the first series so good.)

I only recognised three actors:
Hao Feng Cheng (Zhang Wenzheng in General and I) as Xiao Jingrui
Lei Wu (Yang Ping in Shadow 2018) as Fei Liu
Yu Jian Zhang (Pian Feng in Ice Fantasy) as Lie Zhanying

At first the story seems simple enough. Twelve years before the series begins, an army was massacred because they were falsely accused of treason. Mei Changsu was one of the few survivors. Ever since he's been planning his revenge. Now he's come to the capital to expose the corruption in the royal family, put his childhood friend Jingyan on the throne, and finally get justice. In the process he meets his former fiancée Nihuang again, who figures out his true identity very quickly. Unfortunately, she doesn't know he's secretly dying of poison.

Mei Changsu/Lin Shu/Su Zhe

Nihuang

Jingyan

Of course it's a lot more complicated than it sounds. Keeping track of who's who was a nightmare the first time I watched it. Just about everything will be important later. Even a book or a throwaway remark. You probably won't be able to understand the whole story unless you watch the series at least twice. Luckily it's the sort of series that you want to rewatch. Over and over and over. Even though it tears your heart into shreds repeatedly.

At least it has funny and heartwarming moments to distract from the tragedy. Fei Liu is one of the far too few child characters who are adorable without being annoying. Meng Zhi is basically part of the audience, watching, commenting on, and being confused by the schemes of all these geniuses. And Consort Jing is a strong contender for the title of "most amazing character in the entire series".

I avoided spoilers as much as possible, yet about half-way through I began to sense it wouldn't have a happy ending. I hoped and prayed I was wrong. Then the final episode arrived and proved me right. No matter how many times I see it, that damned last episode always leaves me a sobbing mess 😭

This isn't a series you can watch just for fun. You have to pay attention to basically everything. But it's one of the best series I've ever seen, and I expect I'll soon watch it a fifth time.

Is it available online?: Yes, on YouTube with English subs.

Rating: 10/10.

Review: The Longest Day in Chang'an

Every so often you come across a good series that's just too long. I suppose I should have expected it, considering the title. But seriously, forty-eight episodes (mostly) covering a single day?!

The Longest Day in Chang'an is a 2019 Chinese drama based on the novel of the same name by Bo Yong Ma. Unlike most Chinese period dramas, the setting is apparently very historically accurate. (The plot, on the other hand, is fiction. Though many of the characters were real people.)

I only recognised one actor, and he's one of the last people I expected to see in a Chinese drama:

Djimon Hounsou (Korath in Guardians of the Galaxy) as Ge Lao

On the surface the plot seems simple enough. A group of terrorists sneak into Chang'an, capital of the Tang dynasty, a day before the Lantern Festival. Their goal is to blow up the Lantern Tower and kill the emperor -- and hundreds of other people. Li Bi, head of the Peacekeeper Corps, recruits Zhang Xiao Jing, a condemned criminal, to help him find the terrorists.

Li Bi

Zhang Xiao Jing

Of course, it's a lot more complicated than that. A story that could have been told in about thirty episodes is stretched out to fill forty-eight. Unfortunately the result is that it frequently drags. I had to keep reminding myself that most of the events were happening in a single day. It felt more like the series covered at least a week. Until approximately the last ten episodes there was very little sense of urgency because everything was happening so darn slowly.

What's even worse is the placement of the flashbacks. They interrupt the story right when events are starting to speed up. Picture this: Long Bo and his cronies have placed explosives in the Lantern Tower. Li Bi is held hostage there. Zhang Xiao Jing is still trying to find the terrorists. Then the next episode leaves them hanging (literally, in Li Bi's case) and is almost entirely a flashback. My response was incoherent rage. Seriously?! They end an episode with a cliffhanger and then don't resolve it in the next episode? 😠

The series is unexpectedly dark and gory, especially for a C-drama. When I started it I never thought it would include nightmarish things like Tan Qi being buried alive or Yu Chang cutting off her own arm 😱

Overall it's a fairly good series. All the actors do an excellent job, and the cinematography is incredible. I enjoyed it a lot. I just would have enjoyed it more if it was shorter, and if they'd handled the flashbacks better.

Is it available online?: The first three episodes are on YouTube. The whole series is on Viki, and apparently also on Amazon Prime. (Currently only the first six episodes are available to the general public on Viki. You need to be a paying member to watch the rest of it.)

Rating: 6/10.

Review: Goodbye My Princess

What an awful week this has been. It was so bad I nearly decided not to bother writing a review today. But I recently finished this series, so I might as well review it now.

This is the first C-drama I've watched that's a tragedy. Most other series have at least a bittersweet ending. This one's ending is entirely bitter. Strangest of all, some people still call it a romantic comedy.

Knowing what to call this drama is a puzzle. Remember how Ashes of Love had multiple titles? So does this one. It's called Goodbye My Princess and Eastern Palace in English, Dōng Gōng in Pinyin, and 東宮/东宫 (depending on whether you use traditional or simplified characters) in Chinese. Whatever you want to call it, it's a 2019 series based on the novel Eastern Palace by Fei Wo Si Cun.

I only recognised one actor:
Zan Jin Zhu (Jin Guangyao in The Untamed) as Zhao Shi Xuan

At first the series looks like a typical "character conceals their identity" romance drama. Princess Xiao Feng, our heroine, meets a man who claims to be a merchant. He's actually Prince Cheng Yin from a rival kingdom. They fall in love and get married. Happily ever after, right? Nope. Everything goes horribly wrong. Short summary of what happens next: Cheng Yin kills Xiao Feng's grandfather, Xiao Feng attempts suicide, both of them lose their memories, they fall in love and get married again, and Cheng Yin ruins everything again. "Happily ever after"? This series doesn't know the meaning of the words.

Now, a few words about the characters.

Xiao Feng

From the first episode Xiao Feng was my favourite character. She's so brave and she suffers so much that I spent most of the series hoping she would finally escape Cheng Yin. The last episode dashed those hopes. I still can't think of (SPOILER!) her suicide without tearing up 😭

Cheng Yin

One word: ugh. Cheng Yin is one of those characters who had the potential to be good, and instead became the villain. His love for Xiao Feng starts out cute and innocent. It very quickly becomes possessiveness and an obsession that refuses to let her go even when she tries to escape. I'm horrified but almost impressed at thoroughly he ruins her life and his own. Anyone can mess up a second chance, but it takes real talent to start again and then destroy everything the exact same way as the first time.

Gu Jian

At first I was basically indifferent to Gu Jian. Then they brought him back from the (almost) dead under circumstances utterly implausible even for Cdramas. I can believe he survived being stabbed. I can believe, with some more difficulty, that he survived being thrown off a huge cliff. But I cannot believe that he, a normal human in a non-fantasy series, survived both. As for his personality, he made so little impression that I can only say he'd have been better for Xiao Feng than Cheng Yin was. (Which really isn't saying much. Just about anyone would be better for Xiao Feng than Cheng Yin.)

Se Se

Is it possible? A character who I loathe as much as Cheng Yin? I certainly didn't think any character could manage it. Cheng Yin disgusts me so much that he's on a level very few characters can stoop to reach. Yet Se Se does just that. She's as obsessed with Cheng Yin as he is with Xiao Feng. That's bad enough (what self-respecting woman could ever consider Cheng Yin a suitable husband?!), but she also makes Xiao Feng's life even more miserable than it already was.

Shi Xuan

If ever there was a case of wasted potential... Zan Jin Zhu was so good in The Untamed (and by "good" I mean "excellent"; he went from adorable to downright terrifying in no seconds flat) that I was delighted to learn he was in this series. I expected he would play a major character, or at least an important one. Instead Shi Xuan has very few scenes and virtually nothing to do. Most disappointing 😞

The empress, proof that historical accuracy can be a very bad thing.

When the empress first appeared I had to stop the video and stare for a minute. All I could think was "What the hell is that make-up????" So I had to consult Google. Turns out her... unique... appearance is based on a style of make-up worn during the Tang dynasty. Goodness knows why someone chose that style for the empress; the series isn't even set in the Tang dynasty.

There are a few things that annoyed me about the series. One was the existence of the River of Forgetfulness. There are no other fantasy elements to be seen, but there really is a river that can make people forget things? That stretched my disbelief almost to breaking point. Another was the Shuobo subplot. It contributes very little to the main plot, except to make life even harder for Xiao Feng. But fortunately those annoyances are minor things.

If you want a fluffy romance with a happy ending, this is definitely not the series for you. If you don't mind a series that's frequently depressing and has an absolutely heartbreaking end, you might enjoy this one.

Is it available online?: Yes, on YouTube with English subtitles. (There are two versions on YouTube; a shortened 52-episode one, and a longer 55-episode one. I watched the longer version.)

Rating: 9/10.

Review: Ashes of Love

Some Cdramas, for reasons known only to the translators, have multiple titles. This causes headaches for people trying to decide which title to use. So I'd better make it clear from the start: this is a review of the series that is called both Ashes of Love and Heavy Sweetness, Ash-Like Frost.

Ashes of Love, AKA Heavy Sweetness, Ash-Like Frost, AKA 香蜜沉沉烬如霜, AKA Xiāng Mì Chén Chén Jìn Rú Shuāng is a 2018 Chinese series. It's based on the novel of the same name (the Chinese name, that is) by Dian Xian.

I only recognised three actors:
Yun Xi Luo (Rong Qi in Princess Silver) as Run Yu
Yu Qi Chen (Tuoba Di in The Princess Wei Young) as Liu Ying
Yi Fei Wang (Xiao Qing in The Untamed: The Living Dead) as Sui He

The series starts off a comedy. It doesn't stay one for long. Jin Mi finds an injured bird and rescues it. The bird turns out to be Xu Feng, son of the Heavenly Emperor and Empress, who was attacked by a mysterious assassin. Jin Mi decides she really wants to see the Heaven Realm. So Xu Feng takes her back with him. While there she meets his half-brother, Run Yu, and the three of them get dragged into a love triangle. Meanwhile, the Heavenly Empress is determined to get rid of everyone she doesn't like... including Jin Mi and Run Yu.

Chinese dramas, especially fantasy and historical ones, are rather like Dickens novels. Attempting to explain their plots and subplots would take hours. So I'll move on to a different subject: the characters.

Jin Mi

Jin Mi is, to put it bluntly, an idiot. Her habit of jumping into things without knowing what she's doing causes endless trouble for herself and everyone else. But unlike some idiotic characters, at least she's an entertaining idiot. She provides a lot of the series' humour, even when it becomes less outright comedic.

Xu Feng

Xu Feng is one of those characters who never made much impression on me. I don't like him or dislike him. He's just... there.

Run Yu

And now, a character who definitely did make an impression on me! Run Yu became my favourite character almost as soon as he appeared. The flashbacks to his childhood are heartbreaking 😢 Honestly, I cheered him on when he finally had enough and lashed out against his father and stepmother. At the same time I really wanted to slap some sense into him, because why did he insist on marrying Jin Mi? When it was so obvious she wasn't happy?! 😒

This is one of the few series where I don't ship either part of the love triangle. (In fact, I've seen so many series with love triangles that I'm sick of them. Find more original love stories, series-makers! Enough angst and indecision about which love interest the main character will choose!) Jin Mi and Xu Feng are frankly dull. Jin Mi and Run Yu? No, no, no. They could never make each other happy. Not to mention Run Yu treating Jin Mi like a possession he can "reclaim" by fighting Xu Feng 😒 This series would honestly have been better without a romance subplot at all.

I liked some of the series. Other parts of it infuriated me. That mortal realm subplot bored me so much I skipped almost all of it. At least the scenery and the music are always beautiful. There were times when I completely forgot about what was happening in the story because the scenery was so pretty! 😄

Is it a bad series? No. But it's also not my favourite. I'd recommend it mainly for people who like fantasy and don't mind love triangles.

Is it available online?: Yes, on YouTube with English subtitles.

Rating: 7/10.

(Not Really a) Review: First Impressions of The Untamed: The Living Dead

Remember when I said I'd post this review before Sunday? Yeah, obviously that didn't happen.

The Living Dead is a sequel/spin-off of The Untamed. It was released last Thursday. Some kind soul uploaded it on YouTube with English subtitles, allowing me to watch (and understand) it without the bother of downloading it.

Apparently the film takes place several years after the series ended. The only characters from the series are Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui; all the others are new ones. (Unless you count a certain very short cameo.) This review is a list of things I thought while watching it.

WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!

• I'm not impressed with the opening scene. What on earth is wrong with that man? Who goes out late at night when they know there are ghosts around?

• Can't say I like the credits. Where's the Untamed theme music? Honestly, I'd settle for any theme music. That wailing-child thing is more grating than scary. At least the animated parts look cool.

• I like the call-back to The Untamed's first scenes, with the empty street, leaves blowing around, and people chanting about spirits.

• Why is Wen Ning in chains again?

• Yet again people are running away from Wen Ning in terror :(

• Now Wen Ning can use his chains as weapons. And they apparently have a mind of their own, and are red-hot. (The moving around part could be telekinesis, but the heat? I spent several minutes trying to figure out how they could look like they've just been put in a fire when it's late at night and there's no fire nearby.) Sure would have been useful if he had that power in the main series. Jin Guangshan wouldn't have known what hit him.

• Lan Sizhui is as adorable as ever! I love his first conversation with Wen Ning :D (Though they're a lot more distant towards each other than I expected. What happened to their closeness at the end of the series?) Yay, a Wei Wuxian reference!

• Inquiry sounds different :( I prefer the series' rendition. Sizhui teleporting(?) into a corpse's mind is a cool idea, but it never happened in the series.

• The mysterious death of the Xiao family sounds awfully like the massacre of the Chang clan. Xue Yang? Is that you?

• Xiao Qing deserved so much better :'( (Every time she's called "A-Qing" I think of the other A-Qing. Further emphasizes the similarities between this film and Xue Yang's story.)

• Again all the trouble is caused by the Yin Iron! On the one hand I like the call-back to the series, but on the other... that thing's caused so much chaos already. Couldn't they have found a more original idea?

• Wasn't Zhou Zi Shu already undead? How the dickens did cutting his throat kill him? And yet again we have a villain trying to resurrect a loved one they killed. Zhou Zi Shu might as well be called Xue Yang 2.0. Except I like Xue Yang more. He was utterly insane, but at least his craziness wasn't a repeat of an earlier plot.

• ...I take back almost everything in that last paragraph. Just reached the plot twist, and I have one thing to say. WHAT THE HELL?????!!!!! 😮

• The music is much too modern. Electric guitars in a fantasy film? Where's the beautiful (and actually fitting for the genre) music from the series?

• WHERE IS LAN WANGJI????? I think he was only mentioned once in the entire film. We got a Wei Wuxian cameo but not a Lan Wangji one?

• The final scene has some of the least convincing CGI I've ever seen 😒

I like this film, but it's not quite what I expected. The main problem is how short it is, and how rushed the plot is as a result. When I rewatch it I might write a longer review.

Review: The Untamed

A month ago there were only two series I would rate 10/10: Cranford and Bleak House. This series has just joined them.

The Untamed (陈情令/Chén Qíng Lìng) is a 2019 Chinese series, loosely based on the novel Mo Dao Zu Shi by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. The most glaringly obvious difference is that the series doesn't adapt the romance between the two main characters. I've never read the novel or seen its other adaptations, so I don't know what other differences there are. (Plenty, according to other people's comments.)

I didn't recognise any of the actors, so on to the plot.

Unfortunately the first episode is terribly confusing. I couldn't understand anything that was happening. My thoughts were mostly variations of "Who is this?" or "What are they doing?". All I knew for certain was that a monster was terrorising a family, a group of cultivators (a word I didn't understand then) were trying to get rid of it, and someone had died and come back to life. I almost gave up on the series before it had properly started.

The second episode is just as confusing, I'm sorry to say. But in its final minutes we go back in time to what happened before the series starts. It's one of the longest flashbacks ever; it lasts until episode thirty-three. Luckily it's when the story both starts making sense and becomes interesting. (Why, why did they not start with the sixteen-years-ago storyline, and then jump forward to where the first episode began?) Come to think of it, you could probably start watching the series with episode three then go back and watch the first two after episode thirty-three.

Anyway, on to the plot. Wei Wuxian arrives in Cloud Recesses, where he meets Lan Wangji. Their relationship gets off to a bad start of the "fighting on the rooftop because Wei Wuxian broke the rules" kind. But before long they're very close friends. The series might not have been able to adapt their romance, but it has plenty of subtext.

Wei Wuxian

Lan Wangji

Naturally things go horribly wrong. First a war breaks out, then Wei Wuxian tries to protect innocent civilians and gets vilified for it, then he commits suicide after his friends and his sister are killed. Sixteen years later he's brought back from the dead and meets Lan Wangji again. Much trouble, adorableness, scheming, and implausible fight scenes ensue. And of course there's plenty of heartbreak.

This is one of those shows that's an emotional rollercoaster. It's even worse than Cranford because it includes horror and violence as well as tragedy. When you watch an episode you never know what the next scene will be. Comical? Tragic? Nightmarish? Tragic and nightmarish? Episode thirty-three in particular is hard to watch 😭 Wei Wuxian's descent into despair gives me chills. Especially the way he swings between laughing and crying as he watches the carnage the Yin Tiger Amulet caused.

If you can get through the bewildering first episodes, and don't mind frequent violence, gore, and unconvincing special effects, you'll probably enjoy this series. I certainly did 😄

Is it available online?: Yes, on YouTube with English subtitles. Pretty bad subtitles, but it'll give you the general idea.

Rating: 10/10.

Review: The Assassin (2015)

I heard a lot of good things about this film before I watched it. Now that I've seen it, I can only assume the people who praised it expected a very different sort of film to the one I expected to see.

The Assassin (刺客聶隱娘/Cì Kè Niè Yǐn Niáng, "The Assassin Niè Yǐn Niáng") is a 2015 Chinese film. It's (apparently loosely) based on Nie Yin Niang, a ninth-century martial arts story.

I didn't recognise any of the actors, so let's go straight to the plot. (Or lack thereof.)

The Wikipedia summary of this film made it sound full of drama. An assassin is ordered to kill her cousin, but instead she decides to protect him. Bound to be an exciting story, wouldn't you think? Well, that is the film's plot. But all the drama is conspicuous by its absence.

The film starts with a black-and-white prologue. Nie Yin Niang, the title character, goes to kill a government official. She decides to spare his life because his son is there, and as punishment she's ordered to kill her cousin Tian Ji'an. It's a lot more boring than it sounds. And it just gets worse.

Now, maybe I have unrealistic expectations, but when I watch a film I want to see the plot develop and get to know the characters. This film does neither. Nie Yin Niang has virtually no personality beyond "not willing to kill a guy in front of a child". Her decision not to kill Tian Ji'an makes very little sense because the viewer has no idea what she's like or what her thought process is (beyond "don't plunge the kingdom into even more chaos"). As for Tian Ji'an, the only thing I remember about him is his rooftop fight with Nie Yin Niang. Nothing else was memorable enough to stick with me.

Said rooftop fight is one of the few dramatic scenes in the film. The rest is just loooooong shots of scenery, or people talking about things (talking but not doing anything 😑), or Nie Yin Niang spying on people. Actually, one thing this film is really good at is creating a feeling of paranoia in the viewer. Nie Yin Niang's spying is pretty creepy. Just as eerie are those scenes where the camera focuses on one thing for ages, as if something's about to jump out and attack.

I felt like I was watching a horror film that forgot the horror. For several minutes the focus is on a curtain or something equally mundane. It doesn't move. It doesn't show the rest of the set. Surely there's some reason for making the viewer stare at that curtain? Surely someone's hiding behind it? Surely something's about to happen? Then the camera moves away and nothing happens. Again and again the film does this. Again and again I was sure there was a reason for it. Again and again it was a complete anticlimax. This was the second most frustrating thing about the film.

The first most frustrating thing was the plot. It had the potential to be exciting. Instead it moves at the speed of a snail that's got stuck in glue. It goes on and on and on yet nothing happens. From beginning to end I was thoroughly bored.

Really, the best that can be said of this film is that the scenery is pretty. I felt like I was watching an extended mood-board instead of a film. Unfortunately that's the only thing I liked about it. Goodness knows why it got so many good reviews.

Is it available online?: I don't know.

Rating: 2/10.

Review: Princess Silver

Sorry for not posting yesterday. In my defence, it was my birthday, and writing a review was pretty low on my list of priorities. Here's a new post today instead!

I must admit I started this series only because it features several actors who were in Ice Fantasy. It made such a change to see so many familiar faces in a Chinese drama that I decided I had to watch it.

Princess Silver (白发, Bái Fā, literally "White Hair") is a 2019 series based on a novel by Yanshang Mo. It's set at some point of Chinese history, but (as with General and I) I don't know when.

This is the first time I've watched a Chinese drama and recognised half the cast:
Aarif Rahman (Li Zhi in The Empress of China) as Wu You
Yunxi Luo (Run Yu in Ashes of Love) as Rong Qi
Xinyu Chen (Chao Ya in Ice Fantasy) as Hen Xiang
Sha Deng (Consort Zhang in General and I) as Consort Yun
Ya Xin Shu (Shuo Gang in Ice Fantasy) as Wu Yu
Ke Xu (Xing Jiu in Ice Fantasy) as Ning Qian Yi
Canti Lau (the emperor in The Princess Wei Young) as the emperor of Northern Lin

The plot is fairly straightforward... at first. Our heroine wakes up after a battle with no memory of who she is. She's told that her name is Rong Le, she's the sister of Western Qi's emperor, and she's going to marry Prince Wu You of Northern Lin. Neither Rong Le nor Wu You are happy about this, until they meet and fall in love. Only problem is, Rong Le's going by an assumed name, so Wu You doesn't know the woman he loves is the woman he's supposed to marry. A complicated chain of events involving an impostor and a missing book lead to Rong Le being forced to marry General Fu Chou instead, and she discovers her new husband is plotting against the emperor of Northern Lin.

The story gets more convoluted as it goes on. I understood most of it, but a few plot points didn't make sense. Maybe they weren't explained properly. Or maybe they were explained and I forgot about them; I watched this series over a month, with long gaps in between the end of one episode and the start of the next. Anyway, this review will become a hopeless muddle if I talk about some of the plot twists. Let's move on to a less complicated subject: the characters.

Wu You and Rong Le

From the opening scene I liked Rong Le. (She fights off a small army alone! How can anyone not like her after that?) I think I liked her best during her time pretending to be a tea house owner; some of her later actions were just plain stupid. I was most annoyed when she went ahead and married Fu Chou. Of all the idiotic ideas! 😒 It turns out just as badly as I expected, and causes a lot of misery for Rong Le and several other people. I spent several episodes thoroughly unhappy with her, thanks to that. But eventually I came to like her again.

When Wu You first appeared, I thought, "There must be some mistake. This lazy, ill-mannered lout can't possibly be the main love interest!" He's such a spoilt brat during the early episodes that I briefly preferred Fu Chou to him. Thank goodness he finally grew up, and after a while I started to like him. And whatever else can be said of him, he never tries to manipulate Rong Le. That makes him miles better than certain other characters. (*glares at Fu Chou*)

Strangely, neither of the protagonists is my favourite character in the whole series. That honour goes to:

Rong Qi

My opinion of Rong Qi started out pretty high, then went down sharply after he apparently betrayed Rong Le's trust, then went up again in the last ten episodes or so. Even when I thought he was a villain I didn't actually hate him. It's hard to hate someone who spends almost their entire screen-time looking like a kicked puppy. Instead of being a murderous scumbag like Lin Shen or a revenge-driven lunatic like Fu Yuan, Rong Qi means well but has a talent for doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. I hoped and hoped he'd get a happy ending as the series got closer and closer to the end. But I knew it wasn't likely 😢 His death reduced me to a sobbing mess for half an hour 😭

Fu Chou

Fu Chou was the one character whose death I was sure I wouldn't mourn. He spends most of the series as a treacherous plotter who wants revenge for how he and his adopted mother were treated. But once he learns who his real mother was, he undergoes a (quite abrupt, it has to be said) change of heart. By the time he dies he's almost a hero. I actually did feel sorry for him when he died. Not nearly as sorry as I felt for Rong Qi, but more than I expected to.

Now here are two characters whose deaths I didn't feel at all sorry about:

Fu Yuan

If Fu Yuan's quest for revenge had only been targeted at the emperor, I would have cheered her on. But she dragged countless innocent people into her schemes: Rong Le, Rong Qi, Fu Chou, the emperor's children, Hen Xiang... She's directly or indirectly responsible for almost every death in the entire series. Not even her tragic backstory can make me feel sorry for her after she made my favourite characters miserable.

Ning Qian Yi

My initial reaction to Ning Qian Yi was an excited squeal of "Xing Jiu!". I fully expected to like him as much as I liked Xing Jiu. Boy, was I in for a shock. Ning Qian Yi is one of this series' many manipulative plotters, and unlike Fu Yuan and Fu Chou he doesn't have the threadbare excuse of wanting revenge. He's just a power-hungry creep. My reaction to his death was an emphatic "Good riddance!".

Unfortunately the series has its implausible moments. The idea that Lin Shen could convincingly impersonate Fu Chou for an extended period of time, around people who know the real Fu Chou, just by wearing a mask is utterly ludicrous. (Hen Xiang impersonating Rong Le is marginally less ridiculous.) And Rong Le's hair randomly turning white in the middle of the series, then just as randomly reverting to black a few episodes later, makes no sense when you think about it.

As mentioned earlier, Fu Chou's redemption is very abrupt. He learns the truth about his birth and almost overnight goes from trying to kill Wu You to fighting alongside him. That's the least believable part of the story. Okay, so it's near the end of the series, so maybe the director thought there wasn't time to show Fu Chou's change of heart. But it still stretches my suspension of disbelief almost to breaking point.

Apart from those minor quibbles I generally enjoyed this series. It's quite good, if you don't try to make sense of certain plot twists.

Is it available online?: The whole series was on YouTube with English subtitles when I first started watching it, but now most of the episodes have been deleted. You can probably still find all the episodes somewhere; I'm just not sure where.

Rating: 7/10.

Review: General and I

This is the fourth Asian drama I've watched all the way through. (Fifth if you count films. And I started another series, but gave it up after two episodes.) So I think I can now reasonably claim to be a fan of Asian drama 😊

General and I (孤芳不自赏, Gū Fāng Bú Zì Shǎng, roughly "A Lonesome Fragrance Waiting to be Appreciated") is a 2016 series based on a novel by Feng Nong. It's set at some unspecified (possibly fictional?) point in China's history. I don't know enough Chinese history to make a guess at when.

I only recognised one actor:
Madina Memet (Lan Shang in Ice Fantasy) as Yang Feng

MyDramaList says Sha Deng (Consort Zhang) was in Ice Fantasy too, but her character was so minor that I still can't remember who she played.

Anyway, on to the plot. There are four kingdoms, all more or less at war with each other. Our heroine, Bai Ping Ting, is from Yan Kingdom. Our hero, Chu Bei Jie, is from Jin Kingdom. Of course they meet and fall in love. But it isn't just a Romeo-and-Juliet-style plot. It has dozens of complicated side plots revolving around politics, revenge, attempted assassinations, and battles. Eventually the main characters get a happy ending. The same can't be said for some other characters.

There are so many characters and subplots that by the time I reached episode forty, I had to keep a list of who was who. Otherwise I'd have been completely lost.

To summarise: we start with He Xia and Bai Ping Ting. He Xia is a prince of Yan Kingdom, and Bai Ping Ting is his maidservant. He Xia goes on the run when he's betrayed and (he thinks) his father is murdered. Bai Ping Ting acts as a diversion and is found by Chu Bei Jie. Chu Bei Jie is a general of Jin Kingdom and the secret half-brother of the king. The aforementioned king is being plotted against by one of his concubines. Meanwhile He Xia has found his way to Bai Lan Kingdom and married Princess Yao Tian, and some of her officials start plotting against him.

And that's just the start of the story. It makes some of Dickens' novels look almost straightforward in comparison.

One of the main problems with the series is how many subplots there are. The resolution of one plot feels very rushed to make way for the next one. I fully expected Consort Zhang to be a major villain for most of the series. Instead her plans are foiled about half-way through and she disappears from the story, with only a brief scene of her death to show what happened to her.

Similarly, the entire subplot of Lady Thirteen and Jiao Yan Casino has very little bearing on the main story. It seems to exist only to show what Chu Bei Jie was doing in the years when he thought Bai Ping Ting was dead (and there are plenty of questions left unanswered about what happened in those years).

I may or may not have shrieked with excitement at the final scene 😊 But after the excitement and delight at the happy ending wore off, it left me with plenty of questions. What happened to Dong Zhuo after He Xia's death? What about Yang Feng, Ze Yin and their people? What will Shuang Er do now that her husband is dead and she isn't empress any more? What will Bai Lan State do now that their entire royal family is dead? And where did Lady Thirteen go? The series ties up some loose ends, but it forgot about others.

Bai Ping Ting's last words to Lady Thirteen makes me think that a sequel is/was planned. If so, it hasn't been made yet. When the last episode ends the viewer is left to wonder about the fates of some characters.

Speaking of characters, now would be a good time to say what I thought about some of them.

Bai Ping Ting

I love how clever Bai Ping Ting is, and how she can usually get herself and her friends out of trouble. To say nothing of how adorable she and Chu Bei Jie are together 😍 Her near-constant smile is slightly off-putting, though, especially in scenes where no one in their right mind would smile. Was that a deliberate acting choice, or is it just the actress's natural resting face?

Chu Bei Jie

At first I really didn't like Chu Bei Jie. He was indirectly responsible for the deaths of He Xia's parents, the incident that starts the main plot and leads to He Xia becoming a villain. But gradually I came to like him more. His interactions with his son are so cute and funny 😄

He Xia (left) and Dong Zhuo (right)

He Xia is one of those characters who I feel sorry for and despise at the same time. At the start of the series he's betrayed, orphaned, and forced to go on the run. By the time he dies, he's usurped a throne, started a war, caused the deaths of his wife and unborn child, and destroyed at least two kingdoms. Yet I still cried at his death 😢

Dong Zhuo, He Xia's servant and really the only person who stays loyal to him the whole time, is less outright villainous and more dragged into this mess through no fault of his own. I feel sorry for him without despising him, though I wish he'd done something to stop He Xia before it was too late.

Yao Tian

I spent most of the series longing to slap some sense into Yao Tian. She marries He Xia and lets him have more and more power, she ignores common sense and people who try to warn her against this, and then she watches her kingdom crumbling as a result of it. What an idiot! But even in spite of her terrible decisions, I kept hoping she would finally wake up and kick He Xia out. She doesn't. Instead she kills herself because of him 😢

The series has its flaws; some of it is drawn out too long and other parts are rushed. I'm disappointed that it ended with the coronation and didn't show anything that happened afterwards. Bei Jie and Ping Ting are now ruling an empire that has just been through several wars, and a neighbouring kingdom is facing a succession crisis that's bound to cause more chaos. Yes, they've got a happy ending, but it's not going to be easy. I'd have liked to see some of that shown.

Overall, though, I enjoyed watching this series! The music is great, the story is mostly great, and the acting is usually good 😊

Is it available online?: Yes, on YouTube with English subtitles.

Rating: 7/10.

Review: Once Upon a Time (2017)

Less than a week and 5000 words of Camp NaNoWriMo left. Surviving it is looking more and more likely. (Surviving it with sanity intact was never even vaguely possible.) Anyway!

No, this isn't a review of the Disney series. That potential confusion could have been avoided if someone had thought to translate the Chinese title more literally. But they didn't, so I'd better make it clear what this review isn't of.

Once Upon a Time (三生三世十里桃花/Sān Shēng Sān Shì Shí Lǐ Táo Huā; literally "Three Lives, Three Worlds, Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms") is a 2017 Chinese film based on the novel of the same name by Qi Tang. (The novel's title, incidentally, is (mis)translated as "To the Sky Kingdom". No, I don't know why.) The novel was also the basis for the 2017 series Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms, which I've already reviewed.

I knew before watching this film that it would leave out a lot of things. Can't cover nearly as much in two hours as in 58 episodes, after all. The plot is basically the same as the series', so this review is mostly things I liked, didn't like, or simply noticed.

This is the first time I watched a Chinese film and recognised someone:
Jin Luo (Tuoba Jun in The Princess Wei Young) as Zhe Yan
Yikuan Yan (Yuan Ji in Ice Fantasy) as Qing Cang

Most films start with the logo of the studio that made them. Nothing unusual about that. But this film starts with more than five different logos, and after the third one I started to get annoyed. Every time I thought "It's finally starting", turned out it was just another logo.

At last the film starts. It doesn't waste time setting up the plot or characters. It dives (literally!) straight into Bai-Qian-as-Su-Su falling off that terrace. It took a minute for me to understand what was happening, even though I've seen the series. Anyone who doesn't already know the plot will be lost within seconds. On the bright side, the peach blossom forest is pretty.

Zhe Yan is much more colourful than in the series. I can't decide if I like this or not. On the one hand, it makes him look more like a bird (though a peacock rather than a phoenix). On the other, I couldn't figure out if this was Zhe Yan at first.

Zhe Yan

We get to see more of Qingqiu's (very, very colourful) inhabitants in this version. For some reason Mi Gu sometimes looks like a... small green Furby? I thought he was a tree spirit, not a goblin.

Yes, this is supposed to be Mi Gu. No, it makes no sense. (I guess he does look sort of plant-like, but... why?)

Mi Gu gives some heavy-handed exposition of the betrothal between Bai Qian and Ye Hua. This is not making me warm up to film!Mi Gu. Pity, because series!Mi Gu is adorable 😞

I like Bai Qian travelling across the sea in a submersible flower/jellyfish thing. It's a weird idea, but a pretty cool scene.

LOL at Bai Qian tripping up those gossips who insulted her! And aww, her meeting with A Li is so cute! Although the film doesn't explain who he is yet, or anything about her time in the Nine Heavens.

One of the main problems with this film is that it moves too quickly. Xuan Nu is introduced trying to kidnap A Li. Her backstory and connection with Bai Qian isn't mentioned. I didn't even realise who she was at first. She's defeated so easily (by A Li waving Bai Qian's fan, no less!) that I wonder why they bothered including this scene at all. On the bright side, Ye Hua also appears here. Bai Qian mistakes him for Xuan Nu and attacks him 😆 Talk about a bad not-actually-first impression!

Bai Qian

Ye Hua

A Li is still the cutest little kid ever! He's so adorable, especially when he calls Bai Qian his mother and says she looks just like the picture. She doesn't know what he talking about, or why Ye Hua calls her Su Su 😆 Come to think of it, the viewer wouldn't know that either without already knowing the plot. Nor would they understand why Bai Qian notices Su Jin's eyes.

A Li

Su Jin is as vile as in the series. I wish someone would push her off the Execution Platform.

Su Jin, in a costume almost as ugly as her personality.

I laughed when Ye Hua and A Li come to stay with Bai Qian, without warning her 😄 Her reaction is hilarious. So is the scene where Bai Qian pulls her quilt over her head when A Li tries to wake her.

The film doesn't show Ye Hua and Bai-Qian-as-Su-Su falling in love and getting married, so his behaviour comes across as rude and pushy. Especially when he insists on sleeping beside her. Very disappointing, and gives the completely wrong impression of his character 😑

The Ghost Tribe are renamed (retranslated?) the Demon Clan. Their clothes and make-up are, shall we say, dramatic. In the series they were mostly normal people, sometimes with horns and blue skin. Here Xuan Nu looks like a head-on collision between a Marvel villain and a Maleficent cosplay, with more glitter than some Takarazuka costumes. The result is... garish.

Xuan Nu. Complete with spiky eyebrows, a ridiculous headdress, and a necklace (or is it a shirt collar?) made out of the same material as both headdress and eyebrows. What were they thinking?

This isn't the only outlandish costume in the film. Many other characters also fall victim to costumes that are too colourful, too tacky, or just plain weird.

Half an hour(!) into the film we get a flashback to Ye Hua meeting Bai Qian/Su Su. Half an hour! 😒 On the bright side, I like the music in this scene.

Xuan Nu and Su Jin steal Mo Yuan's body. I didn't like Su Jin in the series (talk about an understatement!), but I don't remember her being part of that plan. I thought it was all Xuan Nu's craziness.

The fight between Bai Qian, Zhe Yan and the Ghost Tribe would be awesome if it was actually shown instead of just a few shots of it. As it is I was left wondering what on earth just happened. That's a major problem with this film. It explains so little. At least Bai Qian's fight with Xuan Nu gets a little more screentime. Side note: Xuan Nu's costume in this scene manages to be even weirder than the one pictured above.

I kept expecting Su Jin to try to push Bai Qian off when they were standing on that platform 😨 Can't understand how Bai Qian could ever believe anything Su Jin said when it's so obvious Su Jin's lying. But her behaviour towards Ye Hua immediately after shows she does believe some of it.

The less said about Bai Qian's headdress in the wedding rehearsal scene, the better.

Seriously, what is that pink monstrosity? Why did anyone think it looked good?

That tree monster gives me chills! As if its general appearance wasn't nightmarish enough, it tries to eat Bai Qian! I was really disappointed when Ye Hua apparently kills it the minute he arrives. I was just thinking "What an anticlimax" when it turns out it wasn't dead after all 😱

We finally get a flashback to Su Jin's attempt to kill Bai Qian. I want to slap some sense into Ye Hua. How could he possibly believe Su Jin's "She pushed me!" story? How? That's stupid in the series, and even stupider here. Thank goodness we don't see the eye-switching thing, though what we do see is gruesome enough. What happened to Su Jin after Ye Hua rescued Bai Qian? Did she kill herself? Blind herself? I can't figure that out at all. Very poor editing there.

Less than half an hour of the film to go, and Qing Cang hasn't showed up in person yet. I wonder why they bothered including that subplot. If they'd cut it and focused on Bai Qian and Ye Hua's relationship, the film might have been less rushed and they'd have had more time to spend on the Bai-Qian-as-Su-Su subplot. As it is the story charges from one scene to another at the speed of a stampede, to paraphrase Cranford.

Turns out Su Jin's now blind, but she's still alive. She stabs A Li and uses his blood to set Qing Cang free. Then she finally dies. Good riddance! What a pity she didn't die earlier 😠 Why did anyone ever let her near that bell? Didn't anyone realise what she was going to do?

Qing Cang. (What is that white thing on his staff?)

At long last we get a flashback that shows why Ye Hua couldn't rescue Bai Qian/Su Su when she jumped off the Execution Platform. Took them long enough! This film's pacing is so confusing. Someone should have realised they should rearrange the flashbacks or the viewers would be lost.

The fight between Ye Hua and Qing Cang is awesome! I cheered when Ye Ha turns into a dragon! And then he "dies" 😭 I knew it was coming, but it still made me cry 😭

The ending is so confusing. I can't figure it out at all. Is time going backwards? Is that Mo Yuan or Ye Hua? How did Ye Hua get out of that frozen sea? What does it mean?! 😕

As a film on its own this is a hopeless mess. As a sort of supplement to the series, it's alright. The special effects are better, though the costumes... aren't. I quite enjoyed some of it. And I'm glad Feng Jiu and Dijun were nowhere to be seen. Their subplot bored me to tears. But I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who hasn't watched the series. Nothing will make sense unless you already know the plot.

Is it available online?: Yes, on YouTube with English and Vietnamese subtitles. Unfortunately the video is full of ads, so watching it is... frustrating.

Rating: 5/10.