Review: Sense and Sensibility (1995)

I first read Sense and Sensibility years ago, but I didn't get around to watching the film until a year or so ago. Which is a shame, because it means I went for years without seeing this brilliant film.

Sense and Sensibility is based on Jane Austen's first novel, published in 1811. It revolves around two sisters, Elinor and Marianne Dashwood. This version is the first (and so far only) film adaptation of the novel.

Recognisable actors include:
Emma Thompson (P. L. Travers in Saving Mr. Banks) as Elinor
Alan Rickman (Severus Snape in Harry Potter) as Colonel Brandon
Greg Wise (Sir Charles in Cranford) as Willoughby
Hugh Grant (Waverly in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. 2015) as Edward
Tom Wilkinson (Pecksniff in Martin Chuzzlewit) as Mr. Dashwood
Elizabeth Spriggs (Mrs. Gamp in Martin Chuzzlewit and Mrs. Goodenough in Wives and Daughters) as Mrs. Jennings
Robert Hardy (Cornelius Fudge in Harry Potter) as Sir John
Harriett Walter (Mrs. Gowan in Little Dorrit 2008) as Fanny Dashwood

Mr. Dashwood has just died, leaving his estate to his son from his first marriage. He was married a second time, however, and will leave his widow and three daughters with no money. So before his death he asks John, his son, to support his stepmother and half-sisters.

John's wife, Fanny, objects to the idea of giving them any money. So Mrs. Dashwood, the widow, and her daughters Elinor, Marianne and Margaret, must go to live in a cottage provided by their cousin, Sir John Middleton.

Elinor

Marianne
(I can't stand this twit. Imagine a slightly less-obnoxious Lydia, and you'll have a good idea of what Marianne's like. She only becomes marginally better later.)

Elinor is in love with Edward Ferrars, Fanny Dashwood's brother, but she doesn't think he returns her feelings. Marianne, of course, has to go and fall in love with a man who's the worst possible choice: Willoughby. (AKA Wickham version 1.) At the same time, Colonel Brandon falls in love with Marianne.

Edward

Colonel Brandon. (Am I the only one who kept expecting him to shout "ten points from Gryffindor!"?)

Willoughby, the latest in a long line of characters I dearly want to punch.

Trouble starts when Colonel Brandon receives an urgent message, followed by Willoughby leaving under mysterious circumstances. Then Elinor meets Lucy Steele... who reveals she's been engaged to Edward for years.

Lucy and Elinor

Colonel Brandon reveals Willoughby's wickedness, and Marianne discovers that Willoughby has married a richer woman. For once she has a perfect right to be upset and mope around, but her moping leads to her going for a walk in the rain and catching a fever. She recovers, but not before causing a lot of worry for poor Elinor.

After Marianne recovers, Elinor receives news that "Mr. Ferrars" has married Lucy Steele. Then Edward visits, and reveals that it's his brother who's married her. He explains the whole sorry mess (he became engaged to Lucy when very young, and in the Regency era it was virtually impossible to break off engagements without ruining the woman's reputation), apologises for deceiving Elinor, and proposes to her.

Elinor and Edward get married, and so do Colonel Brandon and Marianne. Aww 😍

My overall opinion is best described as "good, but it's no Pride and Prejudice". Sense and Sensibility is a great book, with both funny and sad moments, but it's Jane Austen's first novel. An author's first novel is rarely as good as their later works. The film isn't quite as good as the novel (because it's an adaptation and things are inevitably lost in adaptations), but it stays true to the spirit of the book.

The main thing that irritates me is the film's portrayal of Lucy Steele. In the book she's clearly an arrogant, spiteful brat. In the film, this aspect of her character is toned down and she really doesn't seem that bad. Also, the film never explains why Edward felt he couldn't break off the engagement with her, which doesn't put him in a good light until the very end.

Is it available online?: Not as far as I know.

Rating: 7/10.

Review: Ivanhoe (1982)

After a brief foray into other genres, I'm back to period drama! Ivanhoe is one of my favourite books, and one of my favourite versions of Robin Hood (even though it's not technically a Robin Hood story). So this series had a lot to live up to. Did it manage it?

First things first. This is an adaptation of Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott, published in 1819 and set in a fictionalised version of 12th century England. Part of the plot revolves around Wilfred of Ivanhoe, a knight whose father has disinherited him because he followed King Richard the Lionheart on a crusade. The other part is about Rebecca, a Jewish girl who is lusted after and kidnapped by Brian de Bois-Guilbert, a Knight Templar.

This version is sometimes called a film and sometimes called a miniseries. On the DVD I have, it's one really long film instead of separate episodes, so I'm going to review the whole thing as if it's a film.

There's a long list of recognisable actors.
Anthony Andrews (Sir Percy in The Scarlet Pimpernel 1982, and Murdstone in David Copperfield 2000) as Ivanhoe
Michael Horden (voice of Mr. Badger in The Wind in the Willows 1983, and Scathelock in The Story of Robin Hood and His Merrie Men) as Cedric
James Mason (Captain Nemo in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea) as Isaac
Sam Neill (Alan Grant in Jurassic Park) as Bois-Guilbert
Lysette Anthony (Florence in Dombey and Son 1983) as Rowena
Julian Glover (Mr. Dombey in Dombey and Son 1983, and Donovan in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) as King Richard
John Rhys-Davies (Sallah in Indiana Jones, and Gimli in The Lord of the Rings) as Reginald Front-de-Bœuf
Olivia Hussey (Juliet in Romeo and Juliet 1968) as Rebecca

The story begins with Isaac on his way to a tournament. A group of men are waiting to rob him, but he's saved by a mysterious man. Isaac thanks him by offering him a suit of armour and a horse, so he can compete in the tournament.

Isaac

The mysterious man

Watching the tournament is Prince John. Yes, that Prince John. And at least three of the competitors at the tournament are his supporters, though only because they don't want King Richard to return. One of them, Bois-Guilbert, sees Isaac's daughter Rebecca. This is the start of a lot of misery for poor Rebecca.

The terrible trio. From left to right: Front-de-Bœuf, Maurice de Bracy, and Bois-Guilbert.

Rebecca

The mysterious man arrives and challenges all three of Prince John's lackeys to single combat. He defeats them all easily.

Cedric, Ivanhoe's father, and Rowena, Cedric's ward, are watching the tournament, along with Athelstane, the man Cedric wants Rowena to marry, and Wamba, a jester. Cedric is delighted to see someone beating the Normans. Rowena, who loves Ivanhoe, wishes he was there. And Athelstane doesn't care about the tournament as long as he gets enough to eat.

Rowena

Cedric and Wamba

The mysterious man wins the tournament. Unsurprisingly, he turns out to be Ivanhoe. He's injured, but Cedric is too angry with him to help. So instead Isaac and Rebecca take him away to be treated.

Meanwhile, the terrible trio (as I've nicknamed the main villains) are plotting. Front-de-Bœuf is angry they lost the tournament, De Bracy is in "love" with Rowena, and Bois-Guilbert is lusting after Rebecca. They set out to kidnap Cedric and Rowena.

Cedric and Rowena meet Isaac and Rebecca on the road. They have Ivanhoe with them, in a sort of carriage, but Cedric doesn't know this. The terrible trio capture all of them and take them to Front-de-Bœuf''s castle. Wamba is the only one who escapes.

De Bracy tries to blackmail Rowena into marrying him. At the same time, Bois-Guilbert tries to convince Rebecca to sleep with him. She threatens to kill herself rather than let him touch her.

Rowena and De Bracy

Rebecca and Bois-Guilbert

Meanwhile, Wamba has found a mysterious black knight and a group of outlaws led by a man calling himself Locksley. (Who could this be, I wonder? 😏) They storm Front-de-Bœuf's castle and rescue the prisoners... except Athelstane, who's apparently killed, and Rebecca, who's been kidnapped by Bois-Guilbert. Front-de-Bœuf is killed and De Bracy surrenders, so Bois-Guilbert goes to the lair of the Knights Templar.

The Knights Templar decide that Rebecca is a witch who's put a spell on Bois-Guilbert, so they'll burn her at the stake unless a champion arrives to fight Bois-Guilbert for her life. Isaac goes to ask Ivanhoe to be the champion. Ivanhoe and the black knight go to Templestone, and are just in time to save Rebecca from being burned. Ivanhoe kills Bois-Guilbert. Yay! And the black knight reveals that he's really King Richard, and outlaws the Knights Templar. Yay again!

King Richard

Athelstane wasn't killed after all, and he apparently comes back to life in the middle of his own funeral. This scene isn't as hilarious as it is in the book, but it's still funny. He tells Cedric he won't marry Rowena, so she's free to marry Ivanhoe.

This bit always disappoints me. Rebecca and Ivanhoe have much more interaction than Rowena and Ivanhoe, and Rebecca honestly seems like the better -- or at least more likeable -- character. Why didn't she marry him instead? I know, I know, because she's a Jew and he's a Catholic, and such a marriage would have been scandalous at the time. But it's still disappointing.

Anyway, Ivanhoe and Rowena are married.

And Isaac and Rebecca leave England forever.

This is a bit too bittersweet to be a proper happy ending, but I suppose it's the happiest ending possible. The villains are dead (or, in the case of Prince John, have had their plots foiled), the heroes are alive and well, and there are no loose ends left.

So, my overall opinion?

It's not as good as the book. (But what adaptation ever is? Except for Cranford, of course.) But it's probably the best adaptation Ivanhoe has had to date. It keeps all the major plot points. I'm disappointed they didn't include Ulrica burning down Front-de-Bœuf's castle, but I suppose that's not really an essential part of the story. All in all it's both a faithful adaptation, and a good film in its own right.

Is it available online?: I don't think so, but I could be wrong.

Rating: 7/10.

Review: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

Thought I might as well review this film immediately after Jurassic World, so here it is 🙂

It is a truth universally acknowledged that sequels are rarely as good as the original. But occasionally you'll find a sequel that is just as good, or even better, than the first film(s).

This is one of those sequels.

They brought back the skeleton logo! Yay!

Fallen Kingdom starts several years after Jurassic World. (Apparently the prologue takes place a few months after it, but the main film is set three years later.)

A group of men retrieve a bone sample from the I. Rex, and in the process set the Mosasaur free. Then the film skips forward to the news that a volcano is about to erupt on the island where Jurassic World used to be... and where the dinosaurs still are. Claire and Owen gather a team to rescue the dinosaurs. Meanwhile, we meet a little girl called Maisie, whose grandfather -- or rather Eli Mills, someone who works for him -- is sending a group to "help" Claire, Owen and their friends.

Maisie

Frankly, the first thirty minutes or so of the film are pretty dull. Not a dinosaur in sight, except in the prologue. I usually skip forward to when Owen meets Blue the Velociraptor, and the group Mills sent turn out to be traitors. That's when the film becomes truly interesting.

The traitors kidnap as many dinosaurs as they can before the volcano erupts. Owen, Claire and Franklin, one of their friends, manage to get on the ship before it leaves, while Zia, another of their friends, tries to treat Blue, who's been shot. This treatment requires blood from the T. Rex. Owen and Claire have to get it.

Blue

Owen, Claire... and Rexy

Mills murders Maisie's grandfather and has the dinosaurs brought to his house, where they're going to be auctioned off to the highest bidders. Meanwhile, we learn that there's something in the basement.

Owen and Claire are captured, then escape with the help of a dinosaur. (Yes, really.) They meet Maisie, and she tells them about Mills and Dr. Wu's plots. The auction has begun, and the thing in the basement is properly introduced.

It's the Indoraptor, another genetically engineered dinosaur, created from (mostly) the I. Rex's DNA. And it's possibly the scariest dinosaur ever to appear in a Jurassic Park film. Most of the dinosaurs are just vicious animals. The Indoraptor has a twisted sense of humour and a fondness for hunting children -- specifically, Maisie. It even smiles. This thing is so unlike a dinosaur that I began to wonder if it's supposed to be part-human. Dr. Wu (AKA the Dr. Frankenstein of Jurassic Park) made it, so it's not impossible.

The Indoraptor

The Indoraptor is what makes this film truly great. The first half is just average; no worse than Jurassic World but no better either. But from the minute the Indoraptor tries to grab Maisie from the shadows, the film takes a turn towards Gothic horror, and becomes a much better film for it.

Anyway, a mercenary's idiocy leads to the Indoraptor rampaging through the house, while our heroes try to evade it. At the same time poisonous gas is flooding the other dinosaurs' cells. Zia and Franklin try to get the ventilation systems to work... and accidentally turn on the lights all over the house, just when Owen, Claire and Maisie were relying on darkness to escape the Indoraptor.

The Indoraptor chases Maisie up to her bedroom. Owen tries to shoot it, but apparently Dr. Wu made it bulletproof. Then Blue arrives to save the day. Owen and Maisie escape out the window and end up on a glass roof. The Indoraptor chases them. With Claire and Blue's help they make it fall through the roof, right onto the horns of a skeleton below.

Blue standing on the Indoraptor's corpse

One threat's dealt with, but poisonous gas is still slowly killing the dinosaurs. Claire considers setting them free, but decides it would be disastrous. Instead Maisie frees them. The film ends with dinosaurs running loose all over America. Suddenly "Jurassic World" takes on a whole new meaning.

So, what do I think of the film overall?

The beginning is slow and rather dull. The plot only picks up when the volcano erupts. But thankfully, the rest of the film more than makes up for the beginning. The entire Indoraptor sequence is better than the second and third films combined. (Not that it takes much to be better than the third film...) And Maisie's origin is an interesting twist that raises all sorts of questions.

A lot of people were delighted by Dr. Malcolm's cameos at the beginning and end. Frankly, those were the dullest parts of the film for me. Dr. Malcolm has always been my least favourite of the characters from the original film. Why he appeared and not Dr. Grant or Dr. Sattler -- or a grown-up Lex or Tim -- is a mystery.

Is it available online?: I don't think so.

Rating: 7/10.

Review: Jurassic World (2015)

Apparently I'm plunging back into the world of science fiction/fantasy for a while 🤷

When I was a child I was obsessed with dinosaurs. The girls I went to school with were interested in Star Wars, Disney, fairies, mermaids, and things like that, but I liked dinosaurs. I covered my room with pictures of them. I read every book I could find on them. So obviously, I loved the Jurassic Park films. As I got older I lost interest in dinosaurs, but when I heard there was a new Jurassic Park film being made, I knew I just had to see it.

Why didn't they use the famous skeleton logo for the title? This just isn't the same 😞

I didn't recognise many of the actors, and honestly I didn't pay much attention to the human characters. I was more interested in the dinosaurs.

The basic plot of Jurassic World is more or less the same as every other Jurassic Park film. People create dinosaurs, dinosaurs go on a rampage, there's running and screaming, people die. It has some elements that are original, though, which makes it feel less like a remake of the first film.

Years after the disaster at the original Jurassic Park, a new park is up and running: Jurassic World. But there's a problem: people are getting tired of seeing the same old dinosaurs again and again. (This is the most unbelievable thing in the whole film. Who could ever get tired of seeing dinosaurs?) So the scientists who clone the dinosaurs have come up with a solution. They're going to genetically engineer a whole new dinosaur! And they're going to make it as aggressive as possible!

Can you see how this is going to go horribly wrong? Yes? Then you're smarter than they are.

Unfortunately, this creature is also smarter than they are.

Anyway, they make the Indominus Rex. Actually they make two, but one of them eats the other. Masrani, the owner of Jurassic World, is alarmed when he realises how terrifying the I. Rex is, so he gets his assistant Claire to ask Owen, the park's raptor trainer, to look at it. When Owen and Claire reach the I. Rex's cage, it's missing.

You can already see where this is going.

The I. Rex

The I. Rex escapes and goes on a rampage. There's running and screaming. People die. The average Jurassic Park stuff, really. But then an idiot called Hoskins has the bright idea to use the raptors to track down the I. Rex.

Someone should really have realised earlier that the I. Rex is part raptor.

The raptors and the I. Rex

The raptors turn against Owen and go on a rampage. Things look pretty bad for our heroes... but then Owen manages to regain the raptors' loyalty.

Owen, Claire, Claire's nephews, and the raptors.

The raptors attack the I. Rex, and apparently all of them die. Claire has an idea: she's going to set the T. Rex free. And then she's going to personally lead it to where the I. Rex is trying to kill Owen and her nephews. This scene is just slightly unbelievable. (Claire outruns the T. Rex while wearing high heels? Whoever thought of that has clearly never tried to run in high heels... or walk in them, either.) But it's so awesome that I don't really care.

The fight goes badly for the T. Rex at first. But then Blue, one of the raptors, appears, alive and well. And the I. Rex gets dragged off by the Mosasaur.

The picture isn't the clearest, but this is the Mosasaur attacking the I. Rex.

Blue and the T. Rex wander off, and Owen, Claire and the boys get safely off the island. Yay, happy ending -- for now.

So, what did I think of it?

I don't watch Jurassic Park films for the human characters and their problems. I just want to see the dinosaurs. The more dinosaurs, the happier I am. And judged by that standard alone, this film is one of my favourite Jurassic Park films. It has raptors, a T. Rex, a Mosasaur (alright, so that one's not truly a dinosaur, but still), and the I. Rex. It has some gory scenes. It has dinosaurs attacking people and each other. Even better, it has a fight between raptors, a T. Rex and the I. Rex. That's all I ask for in these films, so I thoroughly enjoyed it.

If you want a film with a gripping plot, this isn't the film for you. If you're like me and just want to see dinosaurs, it definitely is the film for you.

Is it available online?: Probably not.

Rating: 6½/10.

Review: The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Halloween is approaching (and Christmas preparations won't be far behind), so what better time for this review?

Most people have probably heard of The Nightmare Before Christmas. It's a stop-motion film based on a poem by Tim Burton (but it wasn't directed by him, despite what many people think). You know all those "monsters steal Christmas" films? This is one of them, from the perspective of the monsters.

The story starts in Halloween Town. Jack Skellington has grown tired of scaring people, and wants something different. Then he stumbles into Christmas Town.

Jack in Christmas Town.
(Side note: it took me an embarrassingly long time to realise his surname is a pun on "skeleton". In my defence, "skeleton" and "skellington" sound nothing alike in my accent.)

He decides that the citizens of Halloween Town should take over Christmas for a year. So he kidnaps Santa (who's then kidnapped again by Oogie Boogie the boogeyman), and the monsters try to make their own version of Christmas. Sally, Jack's love interest, tries to convince them that this is a terrible idea, and ends up captured by Oogie Boogie too.

The monsters making Christmas

Oogie Boogie. Easily the scariest monster in the film.

Sally

Jack takes Santa's place and delivers the monstrous toys to children. It goes exactly as well as you'd think. It ends with the military shooting Jack and his "sleigh" out of the sky. Jack finally realises what an idiot he's been, and sets out to find Santa and put things right.

He rescues Santa and Sally, kills Oogie Boogie (yay!), and apologises for the mess he's made. Santa undoes the chaos Jack caused. The people of Halloween Town celebrate. Everything's back to normal... and Jack finally realises he loves Sally. Took you long enough, Jack!

My overall opinion? I loved the film when I first saw it years ago, and I still love it. It's hilarious and scary and heartwarming, and Jack and Sally are surprisingly adorable for a skeleton and a ragdoll. Oogie Boogie is exactly as creepy as the Boogeyman should be. The residents of Halloween Town are so funny with their well-meaning trouble-making, and the ending always makes me go "aww!".

Is it available online?: Not as far as I know.

Rating: 8/10.

Review: Beauty and the Beast (1991)

There are some films that I simply adore. Beauty and the Beast is one of them. From the hauntingly beautiful opening to the adorable ending, it's one of the best films Disney has ever made. So what better movie to choose for my first review of an animated film?

Almost everyone knows the story of BATB. Girl falls in love with Beast, Beast is a prince under a spell, Beast turns back into prince and marries girl, they live happily ever after. It may surprise many people, then, to hear that the best-known version of the fairy-tale is not very close to the original. Beauty and the Beast (or La Belle et la Bête, in the original French) was written in 1740 by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve, though there were earlier stories with similar plots -- Cupid and Psyche, anyone?

In the original version, Beauty and the Beast were cousins, Beauty was the daughter of a king and a good fairy, another fairy tried to murder Beauty, and the Beast's mother left him in the care of an evil fairy. Why yes, the original version is weird, why do you ask? With that in mind, it's really not surprising that the Disney version follows the better-known plot.

Anyway, on to the story. It's so well-known that I'll just skim over it.

The story begins with a truly beautiful prologue, accompanied by some of the best music ever heard in a Disney film. The narrator tells us how a selfish prince was turned into a beast, and will only change back if he can learn to love, and be loved in return.

Then we meet Belle.

From her first appearance Belle became my favourite Disney princess. I think it's because she reminds me most of myself. She's a bookworm, she longs for adventure, she doesn't fit in with the people around her...

Anyway, Gaston wants to marry Belle, and she wants nothing to do with him. ("I just... don't deserve you!" 😆) Then her father Maurice gets lost in the woods and finds the Beast's castle. Belle goes in search of him and meets the Beast. She agrees to become his prisoner in exchange for her father's freedom.

Maurice goes back to the village and tries to get help. No one believes him when he tells them about the Beast, but Gaston makes an evil plan. If Belle doesn't marry him, he'll use Maurice's apparent madness to have him locked up in the asylum.

Meanwhile, Belle meets the Beast's servants, wanders into the forbidden West Wing, runs away and is attacked by wolves, and is saved by the Beast. This is the beginning of a friendship between them, which slowly becomes love.

Most girls want Belle's dress or happy ending. I want that library!

The servants are delighted with this turn of events, especially because it'll mean they become human again. (Some versions of the film add a song called "Human Again" that's all about this. Some people like it. I'm just "meh" about it. It's not terrible, but it doesn't add much to the film that isn't already in "Something There".)

And this is a perfect moment to mention my favourite song in the entire film, and therefore my favourite Disney song ever:

Beauty and the Beast

Belle and the Beast dance together, while Mrs. Potts sings this awesome song. It's beautiful, it's memorable, and it perfectly sums up the entire story. Every time I watch the film I replay this song again and again until my parents tell me to stop.

The Beast shows Belle a magic mirror that lets her see the outside world. She sees that Maurice has gone looking for her and is now ill. The Beast lets her go, in a scene that's simultaneously heartwarming and tragic. He has no chance of becoming human again if Belle leaves, but he loves her so he lets her go anyway. Aww... and ouch.

Belle finds Maurice, and Gaston finds them. He tries to put his plan in action. But he's foiled when Belle uses the magic mirror to show everyone the Beast, proving her father's sane. Gaston then convinces everyone that the Beast is a monster and will kill their children, and leads a mob to attack the castle. The servants deal with the mob, while Gaston tries to kill the Beast.

This is the part that always makes me cry. Gaston dies, but he stabs the Beast. And Belle has to watch him apparently die in front of her.

😭😭

But wait! Belle says she loves him just in time, and the spell's broken! The Beast comes back to life and turns into the prince!

And they all live happily ever after 😍

My overall opinion of the film can be summed up in one word: amazing. From beginning to end there isn't a single thing I dislike. Well, I loathe Gaston, but that's the reaction he's supposed to get. The gradual change in Belle and the Beast from hostility to love is portrayed so well that it's completely believable.

Is it available online?: I don't think so, but maybe it is somewhere.

Rating: 10/10.