Review: The Haunting (novel)

Usually a title gives clues to a book's genre. Not this one. Despite what you might think, this book is not a horror story. It's barely even a ghost story.

The Haunting is a 2011 novel by Alan Titchmarsh. It's much more a mystery novel than a ghost story. It has two plots, set two hundred years apart: the mysterious disappearance of a servant in the early 1800s, and a man researching his ancestors in 2010.

Like most of the books I read at work, I picked this one up mainly because it was there and I had nothing else to read. I expected a spooky mystery with plenty of ghosts. Well, there is a mystery. And there is a ghost -- though it appears so rarely that it might as well not be there at all. But "spooky" is the last word I'd use to describe it.

The most interesting part of the novel is the historical plot. The modern-day plot is frankly dull. I lost interest and skipped most of it. I cared much more about learning what happened to Anne than about reading yet more of Harry's angst. But even the historical plot becomes predictable and maudlin towards the end. As for the twist at the end, I saw it coming as soon as I realised Harry would inevitably make some discovery about Merrily Flint's parents. The least believable part was how almost everyone in the modern-day plot was somehow related to the people in the historical part. It was like reading a Dickens novel without any of the things that make Dickens novels so good.

Honestly I would have liked this book better if it had a different title. A rose by any other name may smell sweet, but a book with a misleading title is always going to be disappointing. If the title hadn't implied this was a ghost story I wouldn't have expected one.

There are worse books. There are also better ones. I didn't hate this book, but I won't reread it.

Is it available online?: No.

Rating: 4/10.

Review: Silas Marner (novel)

This is the first of George Eliot's books I've ever read. It hasn't left me eager to read more of her works.

Silas Marner: The Weaver of Raveloe is George Eliot's third novel, and apparently one of her shortest. It was published in 1861. It's been adapted into several silent films, at least one miniseries, and an opera.

The story revolves around both the title character and the Cass family. Silas Marner comes to Raveloe after he's falsely accused of robbery. While there he's robbed by Dunstan Cass, then through a chain of coincidences he ends up adopting the daughter of Dunstan's brother.

It's obvious that Eliot wanted to deliver a message through this book. Unfortunately the writing is so dull and the characters so unlikable that the message falls flat. She clearly intended Godfrey Cass to be sympathetic. I found him as disgusting as Dunstan. The time skip towards the end makes things even worse. Why under heaven did Nancy marry Godfrey when she disliked him (with good reason) the last time we saw her? Even worse, she goes from being a relatively interesting character to a doormat who doesn't bat an eyelid when she learns her husband was married before and has a child. What. Any woman in her right mind would have questions if she learnt something like that. Nancy herself, pre-time skip, would have demanded an explanation. But post-time skip she doesn't say a word about it. Frankly, that has some disturbing (and probably unintentional) implications about how Godfrey treats her.

The only sympathetic characters are Silas himself and Eppie -- who only appears as an adult for the last few chapters, and who we never really get to know. I loved the part where she told Godfrey to get lost, though.

Overall the book is rushed, often implausible, and downright dull. The ending is especially unsatisfying; we never find out if Silas's name was cleared or not. What a let-down.

Is it available online?: Yes, on Gutenberg.

Rating: 2/10.

Review: The Historian (novel)

After reading a few other reviews I expected this novel would be good. Unfortunately I was disappointed.

The Historian is a 2005 novel by Elizabeth Kostova. It's a mixture of so many genres that it's impossible to list them all. Most importantly it's one of the many works that combine the fictional Count Dracula created by Bram Stoker with the historical figure Vlad the Impaler.

Within a few chapters the main problem with the book becomes all too clear. There are three different narrators. All of them use the first person. None have distinct characters or voices. It took me ages to figure out who was speaking when. Very confusing!

Related to that is the complete lack of any memorable characters. Everyone is just a puppet acting out what the author tells them to, with no individuality or even personality. Not even the first person narration makes them seem real; they all have the exact same outlook and style of writing.

But by far the worst offence is the portrayal of Dracula. People have conflated Count Dracula with his historical namesake for decades -- with very mixed results. This is definitely one of the less successful examples. The book completely fails to make him a convincing threat as either a vampire or a human. He made so little impression on me that I can't even remember what his goal was. And as for his apparent death, it's one of the biggest anti-climaxes I've ever read. If all it took to "kill" him was to distract him while someone shoots him, why wasn't he killed years ago?

From beginning to end this book is confusing, meandering, and boring. A thorough disappointment.

Is it available online?: I don't care enough to check.

Rating: 1/10.

Review: The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm

Real life has been almost unbearable lately. Visiting family in hospital, dealing with obnoxious (to say the least!) relatives, an ever-increasing workload... So I searched for the funniest, most light-hearted book I could find just for a bit of escapism. I found this one.

The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm is a 1933 short story collection by Norman Hunter. It's the first in a series, some of which has been adapted into a TV series, a radio drama, and two TV films.

All the stories revolve around the title character, his friends, and his inventions. Professor Branestawm, as his name suggests, is an absent-minded professor of the "wears multiple pairs of glasses all at once" sort. His attempts to help people inevitably backfire badly. When he tries to catch a burglar he ends up catching himself. A foray into repairing clocks causes an explosion. He accidentally rewrites history when he invents time travel.

In short, it's brilliant and hilarious. And just what I needed to cheer me up. It's hard to worry about anything when reading the professor and Mrs. Flittersnoop's escape from the living paper. Or the library book fiasco 😆

I've never understood people who say children's books can't be enjoyed by adults. If a book is good, it can be enjoyed by readers of any age. (Actually, that's a pretty good test of whether or not its target age group should bother reading it.) This book brightened my day a lot more than some books aimed at older audiences have. Now, I just need to find the rest of the series...

Is it available online?: Unfortunately not.

Rating: 10/10.

Review: Goodbye My Princess

What an awful week this has been. It was so bad I nearly decided not to bother writing a review today. But I recently finished this series, so I might as well review it now.

This is the first C-drama I've watched that's a tragedy. Most other series have at least a bittersweet ending. This one's ending is entirely bitter. Strangest of all, some people still call it a romantic comedy.

Knowing what to call this drama is a puzzle. Remember how Ashes of Love had multiple titles? So does this one. It's called Goodbye My Princess and Eastern Palace in English, Dōng Gōng in Pinyin, and 東宮/东宫 (depending on whether you use traditional or simplified characters) in Chinese. Whatever you want to call it, it's a 2019 series based on the novel Eastern Palace by Fei Wo Si Cun.

I only recognised one actor:
Zan Jin Zhu (Jin Guangyao in The Untamed) as Zhao Shi Xuan

At first the series looks like a typical "character conceals their identity" romance drama. Princess Xiao Feng, our heroine, meets a man who claims to be a merchant. He's actually Prince Cheng Yin from a rival kingdom. They fall in love and get married. Happily ever after, right? Nope. Everything goes horribly wrong. Short summary of what happens next: Cheng Yin kills Xiao Feng's grandfather, Xiao Feng attempts suicide, both of them lose their memories, they fall in love and get married again, and Cheng Yin ruins everything again. "Happily ever after"? This series doesn't know the meaning of the words.

Now, a few words about the characters.

Xiao Feng

From the first episode Xiao Feng was my favourite character. She's so brave and she suffers so much that I spent most of the series hoping she would finally escape Cheng Yin. The last episode dashed those hopes. I still can't think of (SPOILER!) her suicide without tearing up 😭

Cheng Yin

One word: ugh. Cheng Yin is one of those characters who had the potential to be good, and instead became the villain. His love for Xiao Feng starts out cute and innocent. It very quickly becomes possessiveness and an obsession that refuses to let her go even when she tries to escape. I'm horrified but almost impressed at thoroughly he ruins her life and his own. Anyone can mess up a second chance, but it takes real talent to start again and then destroy everything the exact same way as the first time.

Gu Jian

At first I was basically indifferent to Gu Jian. Then they brought him back from the (almost) dead under circumstances utterly implausible even for Cdramas. I can believe he survived being stabbed. I can believe, with some more difficulty, that he survived being thrown off a huge cliff. But I cannot believe that he, a normal human in a non-fantasy series, survived both. As for his personality, he made so little impression that I can only say he'd have been better for Xiao Feng than Cheng Yin was. (Which really isn't saying much. Just about anyone would be better for Xiao Feng than Cheng Yin.)

Se Se

Is it possible? A character who I loathe as much as Cheng Yin? I certainly didn't think any character could manage it. Cheng Yin disgusts me so much that he's on a level very few characters can stoop to reach. Yet Se Se does just that. She's as obsessed with Cheng Yin as he is with Xiao Feng. That's bad enough (what self-respecting woman could ever consider Cheng Yin a suitable husband?!), but she also makes Xiao Feng's life even more miserable than it already was.

Shi Xuan

If ever there was a case of wasted potential... Zan Jin Zhu was so good in The Untamed (and by "good" I mean "excellent"; he went from adorable to downright terrifying in no seconds flat) that I was delighted to learn he was in this series. I expected he would play a major character, or at least an important one. Instead Shi Xuan has very few scenes and virtually nothing to do. Most disappointing 😞

The empress, proof that historical accuracy can be a very bad thing.

When the empress first appeared I had to stop the video and stare for a minute. All I could think was "What the hell is that make-up????" So I had to consult Google. Turns out her... unique... appearance is based on a style of make-up worn during the Tang dynasty. Goodness knows why someone chose that style for the empress; the series isn't even set in the Tang dynasty.

There are a few things that annoyed me about the series. One was the existence of the River of Forgetfulness. There are no other fantasy elements to be seen, but there really is a river that can make people forget things? That stretched my disbelief almost to breaking point. Another was the Shuobo subplot. It contributes very little to the main plot, except to make life even harder for Xiao Feng. But fortunately those annoyances are minor things.

If you want a fluffy romance with a happy ending, this is definitely not the series for you. If you don't mind a series that's frequently depressing and has an absolutely heartbreaking end, you might enjoy this one.

Is it available online?: Yes, on YouTube with English subtitles. (There are two versions on YouTube; a shortened 52-episode one, and a longer 55-episode one. I watched the longer version.)

Rating: 9/10.

Review: Lark Rise to Candleford (novel)

Just finished this book, so now I can tick it off my list of New Year's Book Resolutions.

Lark Rise to Candleford isn't actually a novel. It's three "novels" that are actually Flora Thompson's autobiography, focusing on her childhood in Lark Rise and Candleford Green. The books were originally written and published separately. In 1945 they were combined into this version, and have been published together ever since. The title and some of the character names were stolen for the series that claims to be based on it. Actually, the series bears as much resemblance to the book as it does to The Lord of the Rings.

Going by the blurb on the back, I expected the book to describe the author's time working for the post office. That does happen... eventually. In the third book. The other two are essentially a series of essays describing her childhood, the people she knew, and what life was like in the late 1800s. Fascinating as an insight into history, but not what I was expecting.

It took me a while to get used to the book's format. In the first book each chapter deals with a different subject -- preparing food, the lives of the neighbours, and going to school, among others. It's essentially a series of anecdotes connected on that subject. The second book widens its focus outside Lark Rise, when Laura and her family go to visit their relatives in Candleford. And finally the third one shows Laura getting a job in the post office and working for Miss Lane.

Lark Rise to Candleford is interesting as both a semi-fictionalised autobiography and a sort of history book. But as a story on its own, it frequently falls flat. There are several references to things that happened later in Mrs. Thompson's life -- most notably the death of her brother in World War I. The only problem is that these references aren't elaborated on. One minute the narrator is describing life in the 1890s, the next she mentions something that happened in the 1920s. It feels like she meant to continue writing about her later life then remembered she was writing about her childhood. (Apparently she did write another autobiography about life in the 1900s, but that book isn't included in this compilation.)

If you're interested in lesser-known facts about the Victorian era and don't mind the essay-esque format of the first part, you might enjoy this book. And whatever else can be said of it, it's much better than the series.

Is it available online?: Not as far as I know.

Rating: 6/10.

Review: The Blue Castle

Mention L. M. Montgomery and most people will think of Anne of Green Gables. Not many people realise she also wrote books aimed specifically at adults. And if you think this is like the Anne series, you're in for a surprise.

The Blue Castle is one of L. M. Montgomery's many novels, first published in 1926. It's been adapted into two musicals, but remains one of her more obscure books.

I didn't know this book existed until I saw it in a charity shop. When I saw the name "L. M. Montgomery" I decided to buy it. Surely, I thought, it would be another heartwarming story like Anne of Green Gables. Boy, was I in for a surprise.

A quick plot summary: Our heroine, Valancy Stirling, has just turned twenty-nine and is still living with her controlling mother and aunt. The doctor tells her she's dying of heart disease. Faced with her imminent death, she decides it's time she took charge of her own life. So she moves out of her mother's home -- under very unpleasant circumstances -- and tries to live in the short time she has left. Of course, things don't turn out quite as she expected.

From the beginning I was amazed at how depressing the novel is. At the start Valancy is abused, hopeless, and trapped in a dysfunctional family -- a grimly relatable situation nowadays just as much as it was almost a century ago. Even when she rebels and leaves them, she has a death sentence hanging over her head. Nor are side characters exempt from the misery: poor Cissie's death made me sob and give up hope of this story having a happy ending.

But it wouldn't be an L. M. Montgomery novel without a happy ending. I suspected Valancy wouldn't die; it's not Montgomery's style to write a tragedy. (SPOILER!) So the discovery of the doctor's mistake is easy to see coming.

In many ways this novel is pure wish fulfillment. Valancy escapes her family, marries the man she loves, and gets everything she wanted. But that's why I like it. True, it's no Anne of Green Gables, and its first half is thoroughly depressing, but towards the end it becomes a surprisingly uplifting book in its own way.

Is it available online?: Yes, on Gutenberg.

Rating: 8/10.

Review: Murder on the Orient Express (1974)

Welcome to the first review of 2020! Most people, for obvious reasons, watched this version before the 2017 one. Many insist this is the better adaptation. Do I agree with those people? ...Yes and no.

I prefer this title-card to the 2017 film's. It's much more fitting for a period drama.

This is the first film version of Agatha Christie's novel. Incidentally, there were only two adaptations of her works that she liked, and this was one of them.

Like the 2017 film, this one has an all-star cast. Like many films from years before I was born, I recognise many of the names but haven't seen any of their other films. There were only two who I had seen before:

Ingrid Bergman (Alicia in Notorious 1946) as Greta Ohlsson

Sean Connery (Henry Jones Sr. in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) as Colonel Arbuthnot

The film starts with the kidnapping that sets the entire plot in motion. Unfortunately, the way it's filmed makes the characters' movements bizarrely puppet-like. People don't walk normally; they jump around. Most distracting.

Thank goodness the next scene is filmed more normally. There's no sign of Poirot solving a crime in Israel. (Was that an invention of the 2017 film?) We go straight to Poirot waiting for a ferry.

LOL at that poor man who tried to pronounce Arbuthnot's name 😄 The relationship between Arbuthnot and Miss Debenham is much more overt in this version. I wasn't expecting them to practically run at each other and start kissing.

The train station and the Orient Express itself are much less elaborate than in the 2017 film. Goats right next to the train? That's an accident waiting to happen!

Where are Health and Safety when you need them?

Mrs. Hubbard's complaints made me giggle 😄 Who wants ice in drinking water anyway?

For some reason Bouc is renamed Bianchi. I can't see why they made such an unnecessary change. And Poirot has another helper, Dr. Constantine. Apparently he was in the novel but removed from the 2017 film.

Like many films from the 70s (and 80s) the colour is somehow... "faded" isn't quite the right word. It's as if there simply are no bright colours in the film. And the picture is not quite grainy, but also not as clear as in more recent films. (Or older films, for that matter; I've never seen this in films from the 40s and 50s.) It must be a problem with the cameras used at the time; it also pops up in Sense and Sensibility (1971) and Pride and Prejudice (1980). Quite a disappointment when compared to the 2017 film's beautiful visuals.

LOL at Ratchett running off under cover of darkness 😆 Poirot's confusion makes it even funnier! There's as much comedy in this as in the 2017 version. I laughed even harder at Poirot's alarm when he learns Mrs. Hubbard is too near him.

I think I prefer this version of how they discover the murder. The 2017 film only showed the tops of everyone's heads. Here we get to see their reactions.

Wait, Cassetti himself didn't kill Daisy? His underling did? I don't remember that in the other film. Unfortunately I've no idea which is closer to the book.

This version emphasises the urgency of solving the crime before the rescuers dig the train out. That's conspicuously lacking from the 2017 film. Actually I was surprised to realise there was any urgency.

My German is even worse than I thought 😓 I barely understood anything Hildegarde read to the Princess.

I didn't expect Poirot to give his speech solving the crime while still on the train. It seems incredibly cramped and crowded when compared with how the 2017 film portrayed that scene. And it's a much longer speech, too. There were times when I wondered if Poirot would ever get around to revealing who the murderers were. Incidentally, the Princess's outfit in this scene is the strangest thing I've seen this year.

Are those feathers part of her hat, part of her dress, or just a very odd scarf? (Whatever they are, they made me giggle during the least humourous scene in the film.)

The flashback goes into much more detail about how the passengers carried out the murder. I'm not sure what I think about them saying who they're avenging when they stab Ratchett/Cassetti. I can see why they do that, but it strikes me as just repeating what the viewer already knows.

The end is the part I like the least. The passengers don't seem at all upset by what they did, while in the 2017 film they're all clearly shaken and unsure they did the right thing. Poirot, after a brief line about wrestling with his conscience, disappears and we don't see his guilt over letting them go.

Overall I like both adaptations. I prefer the 2017 version's visuals and final scene, but I enjoyed this version too.

Is it available online?: Not as far as I know.

Rating: 7/10.

(Not Really a) Review: New Year's Book Resolutions

Happy New Year! 😃 Almost everyone makes New Year's Resolutions today. I'm no exception. But my resolutions are a list of books I intend to read in the New Year. This is the top 5 on my list.

The Warden is the first in the Barsetshire series. I want to read literally anything by Anthony Trollope, and this is the top of the list. If it's anything like Barchester Towers, this book is well-worth reading.

He Knew He Was Right, also by Anthony Trollope, is one of those books I want to read because I saw the miniseries based on it. (I'll review the miniseries. Eventually.) Since I already know the plot it shouldn't take too long to read. Though "shouldn't take too long to read" is not a phrase I'd ever expect to use about a Victorian novel.

It's about time I read an Agatha Christie novel! I chose Murder on the Orient Express mainly because I love the film. Some people don't like reading mystery novels when they already know the ending, but I don't mind. It's always fun to spot the clues along with the detective, and when you know the end you see things you'd never have noticed before.

Lark Rise of Candleford is another of those books I want to read because of its adaptation. But in this case, I want to see just how badly the series butchered it. Unlike the other books on this list I've already started this one. So far it's slow going. It's not actually a novel; it's a collection of scenes from the author's childhood.

I've only read one of Shakespeare's works before. I was twelve, Much Ado About Nothing was required reading for English... and it might as well have been written in Ancient Egyptian, for all I understood of it. That experience put me off reading any more of his works for years. Now I've decided to try again. Romeo and Juliet is such a well-known play that it should be easy to follow. (I hope.)

Will I manage to read these and the other books on my list? Time will tell. If I review any of them, you'll know I've finished them. If I don't, I probably haven't.